Small Town Charm Seeker Gifts

Mom & Pop Shoppe: Going Out Of Business (Not that it's your fault).

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

Another sleepy one town horse.

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'Your future looks charming.'

Silver Fox

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

The Cattle show Week.

"What I mean is what do you do with yourself all day?"

Old-fashioned computer

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

Real Estate Personals

"No guarantees, right?"

Centerville.

Hey mum, do you wanna see s'thing disgustin'?

'Music hath charms,' &c.

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

'Good morning Miss...'

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'What's the night life-like?

They're nice, but they lack the charm of an older home

"You have no idea how refreshing it is to meet someone raffish in West Hartford."

"Mr. Peanut is my dad—you can call me Rick."

be my valentine

'Not only is your mojo not working, it apparently has been unemployed for years.'

"...and I have a farmhouse in the city."

'Quaint Ye Olde Diner,' with a sign 'Mom's home cooked meal, $3.50, Colloquial Native Chatter $1.00 extra.'

"Crisp, elegant, and well-balanced. Not the wine, you."

"Local shopping, local eating, and...I married the girl next door."

I don't get why ladies find you so charming, and me so boring. Simple projection. Believe she finds you charming because you're wittier and more mysterious than she is. She'll sense you're a challenge. Suddenly she'll make anything you say conform to that assumption. So I just Jedi mind-trick them? Maybe not ANYthing.

"Sure makes a change from New York!"

"Ever since I got married women find me attractive."

Weary man at Lost Property depatment. Assistant says: 'Sorry sir, no one has handed in your mojo.'

Graham Norton