Small Print Strategist Gifts

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

Internet Cafe.

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

Holiday Luggage

Murphy bed...Murphy.

'There you go, Jack, I saved you some space.'

'Does this pen come in another font?

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

"The full partner look."

"We didn't have room to store the Halloween decorations so we put them on the Christmas Tree."

"We'll never have to fold fitted sheets again."

Sidewalk the game

"Sign here to indicate you have no idea what you've signed."

'Bad news, sir...the enemy is wearing the hottest fashions in uniforms which will render ours, like, totally last year!'

Aways read the small print.

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'

"That tie, Merrick. It's not your friend."

Mrs. Healy Makes a Show of Force

"They expect to get all this into a one-bedroom in Brooklyn."

Walking stooped 'So that was the spare room.'

'She always has her own way. She even writes her diary a few days in advance.'

'We don't need our own stand. Just have your mom buy all the lemons at the store so we've cornered the market and can name our price!'

Man deciding which hat to wear

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!

'How obvious can you get?'

Boy holding power doesn't want to share.