Small Business Adviser Gifts

'After reading your business plan, I realised that this is the only way you'll get a loan form your bank.'

Small Business Advisor - Malicious Attack Against Computers.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

"Mom, will you help me take down my drawings? I'm selling my catalog."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

Dog selling toilet water on front lawn

'If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.'

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"I'll have the usual."

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

A Specialty Bookstore Chain that Failed, 'Untitled Books.'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"Forget lemonade. The real money's in bottled water."

Member of the Fortune 5 Million

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

'That's the first nickel I took in!'

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

'You'll get a promotion when hell freezes over.'

Floss Street Vendor