Small Business Advocacy Gifts

"Stupid big chains..."

Farm bill paybacks miss the small farmer.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

"Mom, will you help me take down my drawings? I'm selling my catalog."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

Dog selling toilet water on front lawn

'Sex discrimination? What are you talking about?'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"I'll have the usual."

A Specialty Bookstore Chain that Failed, 'Untitled Books.'

"Forget lemonade. The real money's in bottled water."

Member of the Fortune 5 Million

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

Floss Street Vendor

'That's the first nickel I took in!'

The Real American Dream

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

Business As Usual Bar & Grill: 'How's business? 'Don't ask!'

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

"She's always like this at this time of the month!"

"We're temporarily located in an office park, so it would be best if we came to you."

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

'I am sorry Davis, your bonus is a bit different this year, its all down to cashflow; but you can take your pick.'

Blackjack: free lemonade!

'G'morning, I'm the small business advisor.'

Mom & Pop General Store - Going Out of Business Slowly But Surely

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'

'Start barking and stop handing out business cards.'