Small Business Advocate Gifts

'I've put the business up for sale.'

"We finally re-open on the 28th which also happens to be the day we close down!"

Miniature Design Shop: Think Small.

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

A Specialty Bookstore Chain that Failed, 'Untitled Books.'

"I'm worried. We're small enough to fail, but not big enough to be bailed out!"

'I applied the instant rebate and the returning customer loyalty reward, so that comes to fifty cents.'

Business As Usual Bar & Grill: 'How's business? 'Don't ask!'

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

'G'morning, I'm the small business advisor.'

Mom & Pop General Store - Going Out of Business Slowly But Surely

'Start barking and stop handing out business cards.'

'We hope to invest in a few start-ups with national franchise potential.'

"Clean your specs, lady?"

"I now only take orders online. Shipping is free, especially since you're my neighbor."

'Let's get one thing straight. I don't want your money, I want your respect.'

MADE IN CANADA "Buy Canadian"..."Eh!"

'We are from the F.B.L.'

Burn It Down

"With expenses like ingredients, supplies, marketing, packaging, handling and payment processing, a cup of lemonade costs $50."

'After reading your business plan, I realised that this is the only way you'll get a loan form your bank.'

'If we let this happen, soon we'll be swamped in chain stores.'

'I'm from the odd shaped glass supply company.'

"I've reduced theft by 55%!"

Small business nurturing employee health insurance.

"Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Pop."

We were curbside before it was cool. Lemonade.

What can I get you? Keep it down, please. Coffee King. For the record, Coffee King is a giant, evil corporation. Your chain is a ubiquitous capitalist death star. You spread conformity, and ruthlessly crush small, independent cafes. But by golly do I love your peppermint hot chocolates! At that point, getting whipped cream on top seems guilt-free. I feel so dirty.

Frank's Butcher Shop. Ernie's Bakery. Starbux Coffee. It hasn't been the same since the candlestick maker went out of business.

"Typical! There's never anything in it for the little people."

'We guarantee you won't get your money back.'

Any shohplifters with a social conscience avoids small businesses.

"Hockersmith & Associates. May we help you?"