Sly Commentator Pillows

"Ever stop and wonder why this is the only place where you manage to pick up after yourself?"

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

'I had to stamp down on staff using nicknames at work. They even had one for me!'

Expressions of mystery.

"With great power comes great reward."

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

"Can you hear me now?"

'Oh, that's a deduction to pay for management perks.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

Suggestions Get Shredded.

"Today the House Intelligence committee began its investigation of the FBI's investigation of the House Intelligence Committees investigation of the FBI..."

'I like it.'

Art Gallery.

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

Do you believe in money at first sight?

Sly Fox

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

'A shocking report shows more marriages are ending in divorce than decapitation. Could this be the end of traditional marriage, as we know it? More on that. . .after the break!'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"Listen, pal! I didn't spend seven million bucks to get here so I could yield the floor to you."

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

People want as much government as they deserve.

"There's a customer-satisfaction questionnaire for you to fill out and for us to not look at and immediately throw away."

'Psst, Senator, not that one -- that's your HIDDEN agenda!'

"Any family history of stroke? Diabetes? Bankruptcy?"