Slow Worker In Disguise Gifts

"I secretly put decaf in my office coffeemaker so all of my coworkers work at my speed.'

Working Holiday

Park bench reserved for Mi6 recruitment.

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

"A new study shows half of all marriages end in divorce when one of the spouses bring their work home with them. Would you care to respond, honey?"

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

"Miss Caldwell, write twenty letters, make five Xerox copies of each, feed the whole lot into the shredder, and then, if it's five o'clock, you may go home."

"I miss the old days."

'Ultra-high speed computer...more mistakes in less time?'

"How did people waste time before computers?"

One of the positives of having to 'Shelter in Place'...

"Whoa, don't hand me my pay cheque. I'm allergic to peanuts!"

'The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on.'

"Thanks for the keyboard, grandma. But it's not the type I'm in need of."

"I got tired of running a huge mill, so I opened up a small steel boutique."

'Sorry. . . no jobs for lo-technicians.'

"No, this video of your father running is not in slow motion."

John Henry

"I have to go, J.B, emergency on the other line."

'We've papered over the new flat screen TV to make it less obtrusive'

Haverford Steel - temporarily closed, Mr Haverfod is taking some medication, and was told not to operate heavy machinery.

"I've never seen you work so hard."

'Warm a chair...swill coffee...thumb through catalogues and surf the Internet... By golly, Ted, he's RIGHT. They're all in his job description!'

"Telework? Nothing new for me. I've been doing that for 30 years already!"

Stop it! Slow down!

"I see you've yet to acquire the discipline it takes to work from home."

"Some hackers have broken into the system It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup."

'Life has made you a hard man. I've got to refer you to a metalworker.'

'Had I known this opera was a formal thing, I wouldn't have worked on my car before coming. Do they serve beer?'

"What's wrong, Joey? You're whistling. You never whistle."

Man in a messy, noisy office describing, over the phone, how he loves Telesales as it gets him out of the messy, noisy city