Mechanic In Disguise Gifts

'Had I known this opera was a formal thing, I wouldn't have worked on my car before coming. Do they serve beer?'

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

Keyworker

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"I'm learning to let go and have fun."

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

"Any other skills?"

A gift for me? It's a cape because I think you're a superhero!

'We've found the problem...'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"Hey, buddy. If you're not making a call, vacate the booth!"

'Please hold any incoming personal calls for me. I need to disappear into character for a while!'

Roy felt it was important to act out any side effects that a prescription might cause.

Dramatic lighting in the drama department.

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

"How was your day, dear?"

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

And what will it be today? The mask of comedy or tragedy?

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

'Oh, well, I had to take it in to get the oil changed anyway.'

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

"My weakness is collectible porcelain ponies."

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

Politics Books

"Thanks for the keyboard, grandma. But it's not the type I'm in need of."

"Oh, and one last item, Ernie: The periodic burst of high-pitched, maniacal laughter... is that new?"

'Wizzo Wotsits - how can I help you? Just putting you through to customer services. . .'

"I'd suggest cutting back on the practical joking and to ask people not to pull your finger so hard."

"No one whose name is pronounced that way lives here."

No Soliciting

"I secretly put decaf in my office coffeemaker so all of my coworkers work at my speed.'