Slow Ride Enthusiast T-Shirts

'This little baby has been restricted to 25 m.p.h. so it's ideal for holding up the traffic on a Sunday afternoon drive in the country.'

"Giddyup!. . . Damn. I think I just wasted 500 bucks."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"What old school? This is my life."

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Snail Racing

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"e-Harley Hybrids"

A horse and cart metamorphosing into a snail.

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

Speed Checked By Radar.

"Anyone home?"

Boris Bike

"We missed out on the quality of life index again."

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

It's The Highway For People Who Hate To Drive

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"I've always worked from home."

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

Tortoise Mailman.

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

'Better slow it down a bit.'

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

'On your mark...'

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

'This one comes with transparent windows as standard.'

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."