Slow Ride Aficionado T-Shirts

Weeeeeeeee - snail on turtle.

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

"e-Harley Hybrids"

Speed Checked By Radar.

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

Slow food.

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Anyone home?"

Boris Bike

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

"Giddyup!. . . Damn. I think I just wasted 500 bucks."

It's The Highway For People Who Hate To Drive

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

What possessed the council to introduce speed bumps?

"I've always worked from home."

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

Tortoise Mailman.

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

"No, this video of your father running is not in slow motion."

'Better slow it down a bit.'

'On your mark...'

"I kinda feel sorry for Ralphie. He spends all his time and money on his low-rider car...but he never seems to finish it."

This one looks as if it's survived the chrome age.

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

I may not be the smartest tortoise, but I've been around the block a few times. Well, once.

Who you don't want to get stuck behind in summer traffic.

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."