Slow Pace Philosophers Gifts

"Over all, I think my life is stagnating in the right direction."

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know what your office staff are doing?'

Snail Coach

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

Turtle crossing road: 'Phew! A couple time I saw my life crawl before my eyes.'

"Sorry for the wait - I hope it wasn't too long."

Career Counseling. I don't need to live life in the fast lane. I just want to get out of the bicycle lane.

"A thirst for knowledge, …. That was another of my great thirsts."

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

'Snails do a good job of fertilizing the soil, but they're so slow about it.'

Encouragement from Crashed Driver

"Anyone home?"

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

'What do you mean, 'Land Ahoy!'? We're just trading Fishing Season for Hunting Season.'

'Retirement, Higgins? -- But at forty hours per week, you've only worked here thirteen years.'

'Better slow it down a bit.'

"Did you know the ancient Maya predicted that the world would end in 2012?"

Snail hitching a lift to the other side of the garden from a tortoise

"The camper parking lot is just around the corner!"

"Easy does it, Ralph."

I'd join you, but this dratted self-timer only waits for ten seconds!

'I was considered a part time employee since I only worked one night a year and thus wasn't eligible for the pension plan, so here I am in my golden years working as a parking attendant.'

'On your mark...'

I wasn't screening my calls! I just can't make it to the phone before the machine picks up!

'I wasn't speeding, but I did pass two cars who were.'

'I only make $8 an hour, but fortunately, since they cut my hours, the job doesn't take up much of my time.'

"They look pretty angry Bob! We should consider letting them play through..."

"I'm giving up my diet for Lent."

'He's conscientious about most of his religious duties, but he's slow to fast.'

'It's the final lap, Jerry! He looks tired! ooze around him! ooze around him!'

"So, Baldo, do you remember when you started working here?"

A Snail follows directions.

'No, I'm sorry, he didn't leave a forwarding address.'