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'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Homo Gamus

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

State of the Union

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

"I'm running a loose ship."

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

House Hubby.

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

'My husband is a police detective. He does know how to toss a room.'

'Call yourself domesticated!'

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

Tunnel of Love

'C'mon, Alan, it was just a joke! Don't you think you're overreacting?'

Whoever said 'change was inevitable' never saw Fred's underwear.

'It doesn't get any better than this.' 'That's what has me worried.'

Couch potato with tator tots.

"It's either a powercut or we're watching the microwave oven."

'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"Disgusting! I'm never going to get this guy properly trained! I think I'll just abandon him somewhere!"

'Leonard has hidden qualities, and they're best LEFT hidden.'

"Meet my husband, Mr Couch Potato, and our son...Tater Tot."

"Bad dog! You're a bad dog!"

"The landlord says that there are no animals allowed in this apartment. You've got to move out."

'He's a case of unintelligent design.'