Slob Life Advocate T-Shirts

'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

Homo Gamus

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

"You're too sedentary."

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

State of the Union

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

The fox knows many things but the hedgehog knows one big thing.

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"I'm running a loose ship."

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

Randall shows his support of the tiny house movement...

'The doctor said that exercise could add years to my life. He was right. I feel 10 years older after that!'

"The one time it's good to go with the flow."

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

"Sure I'm impressed...but it's three weeks old."

'Don't worry -- we'll have you up and around in five or six years!'

'When did the world get into such a big hurry?'

The message that status symbols were so last year was getting through...

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

House Hubby.

"I envy you, not having any idea of what's going on these days."

"He started off with a lazy eye and it spread to his whole body."

There once was a person who planted a seed

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?"

'Call yourself domesticated!'

'My husband is a police detective. He does know how to toss a room.'

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

Birthday anticlimax.

"I come with my own cubicle."