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'Call yourself domesticated!'

Homo Gamus

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

State of the Union

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

"I'm running a loose ship."

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"I lost 5 pounds and you didn't even notice!"

House Hubby.

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

"He started off with a lazy eye and it spread to his whole body."

"I know, same here. Angsting about the Zeitgeist like there is no tomorrow."

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

'My husband is a police detective. He does know how to toss a room.'

Whoever said 'change was inevitable' never saw Fred's underwear.

You can't sit around all day, it's bad for you. Let's go and throw around a Frisbee.

"It's either a powercut or we're watching the microwave oven."

Couch potato with tator tots.

'It doesn't get any better than this.' 'That's what has me worried.'

"If I won the lottery, I would go on living as I always did."

"Exercise: Check! Diet: Check! No vices: Check!"

'Maybe it's your diet?'

'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"Disgusting! I'm never going to get this guy properly trained! I think I'll just abandon him somewhere!"

'Leonard has hidden qualities, and they're best LEFT hidden.'

Invisible Dog

"Meet my husband, Mr Couch Potato, and our son...Tater Tot."

"The landlord says that there are no animals allowed in this apartment. You've got to move out."

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'He's a case of unintelligent design.'

"Then ask yourselves, 'Do we really need all this luxury?'And your answer, of course, is 'Yes!'"