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'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

"The landlord says that there are no animals allowed in this apartment. You've got to move out."

Reach for the Star.

Homo Gamus

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

State of the Union

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"Well, it's funny, Sid. Every time I've got onr foot in the grave, something interesting happens, so I pull it back out again!"

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

"I'm running a loose ship."

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

Life is about the chase, not the ball. Now go get it!

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage

House Hubby.

We only go around once, but it can be quite the loop-de-loop!

"He started off with a lazy eye and it spread to his whole body."

I imagine at your age, you attend a lot of funerals, Sadie. Oh, yes, they're quite lovely. As a child, I attended birthday parties. As a lass, I attended sweet sixteens. As a young adult, I attended weddings. As a mature woman, I attended retirement parties. Now, in the twilight of life, I attend funerals. "Deathday" parties, if you will. And it's beautiful. Because it's all come full circle? Because for once, I don't have to buy the %$&*@ a gift.

"I know, same here. Angsting about the Zeitgeist like there is no tomorrow."

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

'I'll tell you one thing - if I knew I'd live this long I'd have taken better care of myself.'

'Call yourself domesticated!'

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

"You're mad at your parents? Why?"

"The aftereffects may include years of insufferably life-affirming pronouncements."

'My husband is a police detective. He does know how to toss a room.'

"So, this is Becky. She's single and she's totally your type."

"Have no fear, Baldo...the Cruzer is now your personal love coach."

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

In the game of life...there is no time out.