Slob Satire Pillows

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

Homo Gamus

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

State of the Union

Alexander Pope

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

"I'm running a loose ship."

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

"It's our latest objet d'art, of course we can't use it!"

House Hubby.

"I keep asking you for ideas, Hibblemeyer, and you keep drawing blanks."

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

'Precise, analytical and beautifully reasoned address. Now condense it down to a snappy sports metaphor.'

"He started off with a lazy eye and it spread to his whole body."

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

'My husband is a police detective. He does know how to toss a room.'

"I know, same here. Angsting about the Zeitgeist like there is no tomorrow."

'Call yourself domesticated!'

'It doesn't get any better than this.' 'That's what has me worried.'

Couch potato with tator tots.

"It's either a powercut or we're watching the microwave oven."

'Nice coat.' - 'Yes, it's real fur made to look fake.'

"Disgusting! I'm never going to get this guy properly trained! I think I'll just abandon him somewhere!"

'He used to drive an SUV!'

'Leonard has hidden qualities, and they're best LEFT hidden.'

"Meet my husband, Mr Couch Potato, and our son...Tater Tot."

"Bad dog! You're a bad dog!"

"The landlord says that there are no animals allowed in this apartment. You've got to move out."

'He's a case of unintelligent design.'

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go. You're just not car salesman material."