Slob Sympathy Pillows

"Disgusting! I'm never going to get this guy properly trained! I think I'll just abandon him somewhere!"

Homo Gamus

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

State of the Union

"Let me take that for you."

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

"I'm running a loose ship."

"Why am I flicking channels? Every channel's the sloth channel."

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

House Hubby.

"He started off with a lazy eye and it spread to his whole body."

"I know, same here. Angsting about the Zeitgeist like there is no tomorrow."

'My husband is a police detective. He does know how to toss a room.'

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

'Having one of those days I see.'

'Call yourself domesticated!'

Whoever said 'change was inevitable' never saw Fred's underwear.

Couch potato with tator tots.

'It doesn't get any better than this.' 'That's what has me worried.'

"It's either a powercut or we're watching the microwave oven."

'One day son, all this will be yours.'

Lovematch Dating . . . Please wait here.

"Meet my husband, Mr Couch Potato, and our son...Tater Tot."

'Leonard has hidden qualities, and they're best LEFT hidden.'

"Bad dog! You're a bad dog!"

"The landlord says that there are no animals allowed in this apartment. You've got to move out."

'He's a case of unintelligent design.'