Slob Humor Lover Pillows

"He started off with a lazy eye and it spread to his whole body."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Crap from the future.

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Honest Voting Stickers

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

The Monroe Doctrine

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

Police Lineup Escape

'Escape?...Why?'

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

"The union is objecting to our 'grotesquely inflated' wages, do you think they'd settle for 'outrageously inflated' instead?"

Traders joining Wall Street protests

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff,'

'Rex, you've slobbered all over the ball! There's no way I'd put it in my mouth now!'

Dollars Press Conference

"Six hundred Starbucks closing? Really? Is that on the East Side or West Side?"

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."

Euro Collapse

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"