Slob Storyteller Pillows

'Leonard has hidden qualities, and they're best LEFT hidden.'

Homo Gamus

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"It's 'Architectural Digest.' "

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

State of the Union

'From the very beginning we felt that defeating the Big Bad Wolf would be meaningless unless we could parlay it into a book deal.'

"I'm running a loose ship."

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

Rapunzel climbs the tower.

Princess

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

House Hubby.

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

"He started off with a lazy eye and it spread to his whole body."

'I did think a few more of mine would've moved on by now...'

'I had a tough childhood. I was abandoned on a doorstep.'

'Call yourself domesticated!'

"I know, same here. Angsting about the Zeitgeist like there is no tomorrow."

'He's lost his mobile phone - it must be in his chair somewhere!'

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

'My husband is a police detective. He does know how to toss a room.'

Somebody turns up

'Jack fell down and broke his crown.'

Whoever said 'change was inevitable' never saw Fred's underwear.

Couch potato with tator tots.

'It doesn't get any better than this.' 'That's what has me worried.'

"It's either a powercut or we're watching the microwave oven."

"I'm having trouble with the part where the lion doesn't just eat the mouse anyway."