Slob Life Appreciator Pillows

"Meet my husband, Mr Couch Potato, and our son...Tater Tot."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

Homo Gamus

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

State of the Union

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

'I'm not sure about the new bone specialist.'

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"I'm running a loose ship."

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

Life is just four letters...

'Must you eat without your shirt on? The crumbs falling into your navel are beginning to compost.'

House Hubby.

"This is your ninth birthday party this year."

"He started off with a lazy eye and it spread to his whole body."

The singular joy of living with a person who routinely glimpses the miraculous in the mundane.

'His bark is worse than his bite.'

'Call yourself domesticated!'

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

'My husband is a police detective. He does know how to toss a room.'

There's no cure for birth and death, so you may as well enjoy the interval!

Whoever said 'change was inevitable' never saw Fred's underwear.

"It's either a powercut or we're watching the microwave oven."

'It doesn't get any better than this.' 'That's what has me worried.'

'Thunderbird Reserve? If I had known, I would have worn a fresh garbage bag.'

'I've stopped blogging myself: Frankly, the life of a Hermit Crab is not that exciting...'

Couch potato with tator tots.

Everyday Hospice

'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"Disgusting! I'm never going to get this guy properly trained! I think I'll just abandon him somewhere!"

'Leonard has hidden qualities, and they're best LEFT hidden.'

"The landlord says that there are no animals allowed in this apartment. You've got to move out."

'He's a case of unintelligent design.'