Sleight Of Hand Aficionado T-Shirts

"Now empty your other pocket!"

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

Wow. You're amazing!

The Great Sarcasmo

"He's been acting like this ever since we installed the invisible fence."

'This assignment calls for a chicken.'

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

"This was no accident, Sarge! He was intentionally DROPPED!"

And with that, the simple malaise that had been bubbling up for months officially became a general malaise.

A magician saws in half an octopus

'I hate frisking magicians!'

Auditing

"We haven't been able to pick up his trail. We think he's using invisible ink."

"Yes, we have books on levitation. They're floating around somewhere!"

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

'As a typically observant medical provider, the extremely high levels of iron in your system have me quite puzzled.'

Magician pulling money out of a hat

'I love working with my hands.'

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

Ping Pong Handshake.

"'Work' is a magic word around here."

"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."

"What kind of idiot gets suckered into something like that?"

'You've got some nerve barging in here demanding my staff drop everything and do handstands for you!'

'It seems silly to me, too, but there's a local ordinance against handguns.'

'Your eyes are playing tricks on you.'

A chemist misunderstanding the request of a lady after a way to clean gloves.

'I should have won that last fight.'

'The killer should not be hard to find - he has left a trail of inserts.'

'Too many years as a knife thrower's assistant.'