Sleight Of Hand Aficionado Gifts

"Now empty your other pocket!"

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Wow. You're amazing!

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

The Great Sarcasmo

'This assignment calls for a chicken.'

"He's been acting like this ever since we installed the invisible fence."

'There must be like a hundred of them in there!'

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

And with that, the simple malaise that had been bubbling up for months officially became a general malaise.

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"This was no accident, Sarge! He was intentionally DROPPED!"

A magician saws in half an octopus

Auditing

"Yes, we have books on levitation. They're floating around somewhere!"

"We haven't been able to pick up his trail. We think he's using invisible ink."

"Who's going to carve?"

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

'As a typically observant medical provider, the extremely high levels of iron in your system have me quite puzzled.'

"You may not like what I've dug out, but you did ask me to snoop into your husband!"

Magician pulling money out of a hat

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

"'Work' is a magic word around here."

Ping Pong Handshake.

'I love working with my hands.'

"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."

"What kind of idiot gets suckered into something like that?"

'You've got some nerve barging in here demanding my staff drop everything and do handstands for you!'

'It seems silly to me, too, but there's a local ordinance against handguns.'

Houdini.

'Your eyes are playing tricks on you.'

A chemist misunderstanding the request of a lady after a way to clean gloves.

'I should have won that last fight.'

'The killer should not be hard to find - he has left a trail of inserts.'