Sleight-of-hand Sorcerer Gifts

'I hate frisking magicians!'

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

Wow. You're amazing!

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

"And now from downtown!"

'We could use a little sales magic.'

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

"He's done it your majesty! He's turned lead into a screenplay!"

The Wizard.

"Once we get the performance figures in we give them to Mrs Miggins and her magic cauldron to make sense of them!"

How did that enchantment go again? Must I spell out everything for you?!

"Sorry we're traveling this weekend."

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

"You have a rent in your invisibility cloak."

Magician pulling money out of a hat

'I don't care WHO started it!'

"Making your own potions is old fashioned. I order mine online and pop it into the microwave!"

'I love working with my hands.'

Heavenwood

'. . . but I didn't belong to the union, so a scab stole my job!!'

"Bob’s just finishing the last chapter of his unauthorized autobiography."

'It's her own fault, she was texting at the time.'