Sleight-of-hand Sorcerer Gifts

'I hate frisking magicians!'

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

Wow. You're amazing!

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

"And now from downtown!"

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

'We could use a little sales magic.'

"Once we get the performance figures in we give them to Mrs Miggins and her magic cauldron to make sense of them!"

The Wizard.

"He's done it your majesty! He's turned lead into a screenplay!"

"Sorry we're traveling this weekend."

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

"Bob’s just finishing the last chapter of his unauthorized autobiography."

'I love working with my hands.'

"You have a rent in your invisibility cloak."

"Making your own potions is old fashioned. I order mine online and pop it into the microwave!"

'. . . but I didn't belong to the union, so a scab stole my job!!'

Heavenwood

Magician pulling money out of a hat

'I don't care WHO started it!'

'It's her own fault, she was texting at the time.'

Hammer Drill