Sleepy Snacker Pillows

His condition is known as Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Secretive Weigh In.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

Breakfast surreal.

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

Bedside Manna.

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

"You're the sport on my telly"

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

'I woke up in February, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, killed and ate a moose.'

Cookie Thief

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

"People are inherently complicated, and if you eat it late enough at night, cereal can be dinner and breakfast!"

'You were up four times last night.'

"Late night snack? No, I...I was just checking expiration dates, dear!"

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

"You're home, dear. We don't have room service."

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

Diet Enforcer

Man using light to shield his eyes.

"Relax! The poor thing is only taking a breather on his way south!"

"Did someone eat my edamame ice pack?!"

"I thought we agreed no midnight snacks?"