Sleep Routine Innovator Gifts

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

Odd Spas

"I don't need to get out of bed, ma - I programmed an app to live my life for me."

Please take them off

"Sweet dreams, Tim." "Mort Feldstein: Loving father and professional clown."

Cat asleep on man's stomach - an island in the bath.

"I thought it was just the cap that was child-resistant."

A cow's bedside table.

'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'

The Force of Example.

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

"Is this a creative nap or a nap nap?"

Bird building a nest under a bird box rather than in it

'Six months ought to be enough sleep for anyone.'

Gracie can't sleep by counting sheep so she sleeps by counting A+ grades.

Interpretive Cheering

"No more getting up and having to go to the kitchen for a midnight snack."

'I'll only be using it as a night light.'

"Will you PLEEEEASE stop grinding your teeth!"

"You can't sleep? Have you tried meditating, then reading for an hour, then going to the couch...."

"-psst! Wanna buy a hot water bed?"

“Let’s run with the masala chai this morning, but go easy with the ground ginger.”

"Tell me a story Mommy!"

'I've been sitting on it for days and days and nothing happens!'

'Wait, I know. G'night Danny, don't let the bed bugs bite, Danny. We regret having to raise you to level orange, Danny...'

'That's what I'm talkin' about.'

"I snore says my wife!"

"You had me up all night. You were clicking in your sleep again."