Sleep-deprived Parents Gifts

'It used to be a nightmare getting him to sleep and then we discovered chloroform.'

Cry babies.

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Time for bed, guys."

The modern generation!

Center For Sleep Deprivation

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

'It's ironic really. We love kids most when they are unconscious!'

'Either switch off his batteries or take 'em out!'

'Of course I respect him more than you - He's house trained!'

"At first it was difficult having a new baby. But now I'm doing fine!"

Parents sleeping with a new baby.

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up every hour during the night."

"Dad, I'm thirsty again!"

'For God's sake, Tom, just let her cry - I can't stand your singing any longer.'

"I'd be happy if I got half the attention and was half as clever as my kids' smartphones."

"It's either "Bring your kid to work" day or it's "Drop of handbag in kindergarten" day today?"

'Wait a minute...what am I doing? I can't count yet.'

'I can't sleep, knowing that the increased cost of doing business is being passed on to me!'

'You must've really been tired last night. You put the diaper on the dog.'

A Grim Reaper counting skeletons of sheep jumping over a fence.

"It's dawn, Dad. Want to knock off for breakfast?"

Things my cat says at 3 am

'Our eggs should stay nice and warm in the hot sand: Let's go for a swim...'

"There is no 'snooze button'. Get up, it's your turn to see to the baby!"

"I was too anxious to sleep, too sleepy to work, and too lazy to go to the kitchen."

"Sorry we have to leave, but it is 8:30 and our 28 year old is home alone..."

'Mum's half asleep again!'

Cavemen Insomnia