Sleep Defender Gifts

"I know eight hours sleep a day is normal... but not at work!"

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"Try thinking about something else."

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

Contented man and cat sleeping

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

The Dangers of Not Getting Enough Sleep...

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

Wall Street lights the American Dream on fire while citizens try to burn Wall Street.

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"His fitness tracker said he needed 36 minutes more sleep!"

'What he lacks in intelligence he makes up for in stupidity.'

"We can watch anything you want, as long as I don't have to keep my eyes open."

'...and that M'tud, concludes the case for the prosecution.'

'If I could go back to anywhere, it would be to my bed.'

"I'm sorry, but you can not wear noise protection when teaching your music classes.".

What are you doing up, mom? Big meeting tomorrow. Must be prepared. It's one a.m.! Go to bed, young lady. You need your sleep. It must be late. I heard my voice coming out of your mouth. Scary!

Rip Van Winkle told by pharmacist that his sleeping pill prescription has expired.

Give Sleep a Chance

"Come on Mum, just two more weeks..."

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

Grants & Recipients

Sleeping through new year celebrations

'How's the new insomnia pill going?'

"What? I slept seven months."

"Ironic, isn't it? I spend one-third of my life asleep, and the other two-thirds pretending to be awake!"

'I'm afraid you're not working out.'

"I think I'll sleep in tonight!"

I suppose you'd like to know why I summoned you here at 3am, minion. Not really. My studies show there's a 0.0067% uptick in coffee sales when you appear sleepier than the patrons. Come again? My theory is that's because seeing you falling asleep on your feet subconsciously makes customers feel like they need more caffeine ... From now on, you're only to sleep three non-consecutive hours per day. Very bad mazzzzz ...

Cats don't like to let the people that they live with have a lie-in.

'I shan't say it again... It's time for bed!'

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."