Sleaze Sympathizer Pillows

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

Angry Squirrel Can't Get to the Bird Table.

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

"The government doesn't understand me."

"It's a pizza leaflet..."

"Delivery."

It was a perfect day, until a squirrel stole his sandwich and ruined everything.

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"Won't your boss miss you?"

Under zealous: ZZZZZZ!

'My hay fever is really acting up.'

Common predators of the grey squirrel.

Snail to Slug.

"The question is. Do you remembere where you buried your feelings?"

Scary Slug Stories

"Stop trying to change me!!"

"Stop doggin' it!"

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

"Why am I flicking channels? Every channel's the sloth channel."

"Whatever you do, don't make eye contact."

An elephant sneezes all over its trainer - 'Gesundheit...!'

Now, this is a good garden: full of weeds! The likelyhood of somebody trying to poison us here is very low...

'You wanted to see me when I woke up?'

The Las Vegas Oddsmakers

'I know I shouldn't bite, but I keep thinking about that poor slob up there...hot, tired, hungry...'

'I know but I have to consider him irreplaceable until I figure out what he does around here.'