Sleaze Sympathizer T-Shirts

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

Angry Squirrel Can't Get to the Bird Table.

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

God in the bunker.

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

"It's a pizza leaflet..."

"Let me take that for you."

"The government doesn't understand me."

"Delivery."

It was a perfect day, until a squirrel stole his sandwich and ruined everything.

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"Won't your boss miss you?"

"I'm not saying you have to give them up entirely, but you need to eat your young in moderation."

Under zealous: ZZZZZZ!

A dog getting neutered.

'My hay fever is really acting up.'

Common predators of the grey squirrel.

Snail to Slug.

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

Scary Slug Stories

"Why am I flicking channels? Every channel's the sloth channel."

"The question is. Do you remembere where you buried your feelings?"

"Stop doggin' it!"

"Stop trying to change me!!"

What's your question for Ask Sadie? What's the most humane way to get squirrels out of my garden? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time one of my ancestors had a similar question. Ironically, she was a spunky flying-squirrel-like creature who prayed to the great acorn to do something about the triceratops that kept stomping her magnolias. My advice: Go great-acorn on those squirrels!!! Did that really happen? It's family lore! I don't question it!

An elephant sneezes all over its trainer - 'Gesundheit...!'

"Whatever you do, don't make eye contact."

'I know but I have to consider him irreplaceable until I figure out what he does around here.'

'You wanted to see me when I woke up?'

Now, this is a good garden: full of weeds! The likelyhood of somebody trying to poison us here is very low...

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