Slaw King Enthusiast Gifts

Wild Irv Moskowitz, the meanest deli-man in the West.

Thru versus Through Traffic

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Important Food Groups

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"You funnin' me, bub?"

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Diet considerations.'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

Family Butcher.

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

*=Hotdog

Boy asking for bathing machine to be taken out deep so he can dive in.

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

One youth says: 'Lamppost, bollard, tarmac, kerb.' Other says: Zebra crossing,traffic hump, postbox.' Caption: Street language

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'