Slasher Fan Gifts

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Toadstools

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Silence of the Chickens...

Broomstick crash.

'Trickle or Spray!?'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Beware of Falling Notice.

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"I lettered in spelling."

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

"Devi's brew?"

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

Open House of Horrors

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

Alarmistclock

"Heads or tails?"

Frankenstein's Monster's PC.

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"