Skull And Skeleton Fan Pillows

'I only visit people who've had a close shave with death.'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Nuts to you, too."

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

Baby squirrel & Berries

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"It's unusual to see them reading this time of year."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

The Statue of Liberty holding up an ice-cream.

Base jumper in squirrel suit sees splat shadow as he leaps from canyon wall.

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

The Reaper's Arms

Rock on Grandma!

"Yeah, but this is a cat on a skateboard being arrested by a cop with a tattoo of the Confederate flag!"

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

"There are 206 bones in your body...How would you like one more?"

"Back away from the squirrel!"

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

"How much longer are you going to be?"

Death Watch

'Let her go, Mary! She was probably just kidding about your leaping ability.'

Museum Guard Portrait

"The big difference between Halloween and Day of the Dead...is we look at the afterlife as a reason to celebrate...not to scare anyone."

A man is sweeping leaves in a museum full of marble statues.

"I know it was your turn to pick, but could we listen to something besides the podcast about squirrels again?"

"Would you guys shut up and let me watch the game?"

"Fifi"

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

Snakeboarding.