Skivvy Master Gifts

'What cloak of invisibility? Just admit that you missed work yesterday.'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

'It's been a pretty slow day -- What say we knock off a couple hours early?'

'Just remember lads, when the drummer misses a beat we all miss a beat.'

'It just needs tidying up a bit.'

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.

'Are you the proud parents of our (drumming contest) winner?'

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

He took every chance to practice his talk.

'I play it to kill time.'

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

Man at sports arena sees plane pulling banner that tells him to get back to work.

"Yes, I know it's a lure, but look at the detail! You have to admit, frankly, that this fly-fisherman is an artist. . ."

"Would you like to squiggle here something that no-one in a MILLION years would be able to read!"

"Oh, dear God, more kitsch."

Carpenter

"No, you still look fat."

'I hope he's all right. That Times is three weeks old.'

'I'm afraid we can't accept you as a medical student, your handwriting is far too legible. '

Suddenly Jimmy didn't feel so alone in the world.

'I need a sick note to cover me for the London Olympics.'

The Beat

'It says, 'Like many of the greats, he was a brilliant self-publicist.'

Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but caught the theme park ride.

"The teacher says you tried to fake a furball cough to get out of doing the Maths test!"

'You still have the fish shop then.'

Metronome - 'Stop trying to funk it up.'

"Sam is a percussionists' percussionist."

"I miss school...as often as I can."