Skin Savant T-Shirts

'Don't think 'blotchy'. Think variegated skin, like a beautiful plant.'

TV-Man

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

The Tragedy of Prosperity

Trawling for Fish.

The Plasmas.

Dermatology: Journal of Itchcraft.

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

The Music Lover.

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

"Cool game!"

Mind control

'No one is making fun of you. You're just being overly sensitive.'

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

Pathology.

"She died doing what she loved."

'My best attribute? That would be my glottal stop.'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

'No wrinkles or botox for me: I naturally change my skin every so often...'

'I'm telling you, with the right moisturizer and lip balm you could avoid all of that chaffing.'

'Alright! Alright! So I made a mistake!'

"The groomer used too much product."

'Dad, how old were you when you started noticing HD?'

"Are we at the undercoat stage yet, or is this still the primer?"

'I've tried everything. My skin is still as dry as an elephant's trunk.'

'Do you just add more layers as you get older, Mom?'

'It's a beautiful day. Go out and click.'