Skepticism Analyst Gifts

At last, Paul Burrell finds his diary.

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Skeptic Tank.

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"We fell for this last time remember..."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"