Skeptic Of Too Good To Be True Pillows

Couple with a scratch card - 'Wow! We haven't won a free holiday...'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

'Most cases like yours, Mr. Johnson, clear up completely with a healthy dose of skepticism!'

"This better not be another one of your crazy pyramid schemes."

"No? Okay then, how about: my client does one year in Purgatory, no time burning in the infernal depths of Hell, and three of the lesser sins expunged."

"Proving Jesus lived is harder than finding footprints in the water he walked on."

'Like the judges, he's turned his chair around to concentrate on the singing.'

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

"I give this to you as a token of my love and commitment, and mistrust."

"Do you really believe, Gerald?"

Viewer Discretion - Stupid Program.

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

'I don't really believe in global warming... until I found a way to make money at it.'

"I just don't get these reality shows!"

"My wife tells me I'm a skeptic. . . but I don't believe anything she says!"

The Source of all water

"Baldo, I don't need advice on looking cool in a new car."

'At least you know exactly where you stand with a dealer like Bob.'

'I've got nothing against those shows. . . I just wish I had an IQ low enough to enjoy them.'

More Vacuous Reality TV S**e

"Don't worry. It's just an election. . . once it's over all this will just go away."

"Today on Zoom she was like, 'I really think everything's going to be okay,' and I'm like, 'I always knew she was a conspiracy theorist!'"

Big Retail is watching you... They're just not really watching what they've got.

'The 2 minute hate.'

"I think your personal psychic is a waste of money. She promised us a boatload of fish, and I haven't had a nibble all day."

Hey! Everybody makes mistakes.

"Nothing's special today."

"They stoop to dirty politics because they care."

"Every time it comes on I feel like leaving the house."

TV screens reads 'Giant Government Database' - 'Oh no! Not more Big Brother.'

"I hate these 'fly-on-the-wall' type documentaries...they're nothing like real life...!"

White dot on TV screen, man says: 'There are two possibilities ? the TV is broken, or the media has finally disappeared up its own arse.'

"What's the weather today?"