Skeptic With A Smile Pillows

"Do you really believe, Gerald?"

"Proving Jesus lived is harder than finding footprints in the water he walked on."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'These bitcoins things are backed by technology and the internet! What could possibly go wrong?'

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

'OK, now you've seen it...'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

"Now do you believe me?"

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

Descartes's Demon

'Most cases like yours, Mr. Johnson, clear up completely with a healthy dose of skepticism!'

'If evolution is real how come after millions of years we're still unable to open a can of dog food?'

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

"Stacy. Stacy. Honey... You're not a doctor."

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

"Thank you for not praying."

'Don't believe everything you read.'

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

'A large Federal study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that large federal studies don't prove anything.'

'People are skeptical about everything I say!', 'Oh, come now!'