Skeptic Defier Gifts

"And to think, when we met online people said it would never last."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"We fell for this last time remember..."

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

'Don't believe everything you read.'

It takes more than imminent danger to convince a true skeptic!

"Skip the ghost stories. Tell us your conspiracy theory again!"

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

'A Federally-funded study released today proves conclusively that taxes are good for the economy....'

'I am a bit suspicious...In my experience, there is no such thing as a 'Free Lunch'...'

'Most cases like yours, Mr. Johnson, clear up completely with a healthy dose of skepticism!'

'If evolution is real how come after millions of years we're still unable to open a can of dog food?'

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

"Thank you for not praying."

'It's a wonderful find, and yet there's something suspicious about it.'

'A large Federal study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that large federal studies don't prove anything.'

'Do you have poor credit? . . . Visit paydayloanshark.com for instant cash!'

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

'Gentlemen, gentlemen, yes the neutrino beats the speed of light; but let's wait for the dope test.'

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

Fortune telling

Alternative medicine - some of its remedies are possibly nothing more than snake oil

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'