Skeptic Detective Gifts

'I am a bit suspicious...In my experience, there is no such thing as a 'Free Lunch'...'

"Skip the ghost stories. Tell us your conspiracy theory again!"

Conspiracy theories club - trust no one! (CCTV cameras watching each other).

"We are prepared to offer you a compensation package that includes a significant portion of the Western Hemisphere."

'Do you have poor credit? . . . Visit paydayloanshark.com for instant cash!'

Tempo - Announcing our new free call offer! 'There's no such thing as a free launch.'

'Do you really think the sweepstake people are going to award you a million dollars when they misspelled your name on the mass mailing list?'

Angel - Free counselling for agnostics

Houdini Goes To A Medium.

Fear/Knowledge

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

Another Bigfoot sighting...

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

Channelling on the Cheap

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

The new Physics

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"And he had it peer-reviewed by his fellow pseudoscientists."

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

Experts through the ages.

'I might give you the benefit of the doubt. But I doubt it.'

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

"Call me crazy, but this guy is really starting to worry me..."