Skeptic Banter Gifts

"If your faith is so strong, why did you rush to the E.R. instead of your church?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

It takes more than imminent danger to convince a true skeptic!

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

'Not bad idea! But no quit day job.'

'If evolution is real how come after millions of years we're still unable to open a can of dog food?'

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"Thank you for not praying."

"Stacy. Stacy. Honey... You're not a doctor."

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

Not so heavenly

Elevators offer choice of conversation or conversation-free.

"You are gullible and naive. You believe untrained charlatans. You squander your money."

Small Talk Lounge

Harold Was Done Asking Customers About Their Day

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

"Look. Jesus healed my severed leg."

'Do you believe in the Grass Piranha now my friend?'

#1 Jerk-off

'I don't care about your stinking study. This time, it better not be the placebo.'

Agnostics Society: Absolute worst place to ask for directions.