Skeleton Jokesters Gifts

"Oh shoot. That reminds me, I need to buy a valentine."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

Jurassic Ark

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

X-ray of body shows skull.

Relativity explained; the woman on the train will always appear more attractive than the woman on the platform.

"Some Rain Forest this is..."

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

'When I asked for funding of my rooster egg laying research, I was told the chick is in the male.'

'Are you mentally undressing me again professor?'

'That's our new Radiology Specialist!'

'Yeah, hi, Bob...when you asked me to pop in and feet Spot, I was kind of under the impression he was a dog!'

"Good evening. Sorry for the slight delay."

The Broken Clock That Is Wrong Twice A Day

"You took your time!"

"Lose those fantasies of exacting vengeance from the afterlife. Our best hope is a mild case of salmonella."

'Ok Phil, you can stop the trash talk now!'

Dog spelled backward is GOD, cat is TAC, a pain in the butt.

"It's going to rain — I can feel it in my bones."

"C'mon, work that core!"

'No, I don't think x-rays are needed.'

The Spine Center

'STOP DOING SIT-UPS!'

'I'm not overweight you know? I'm just big boned.'

Dinosaurs Playing Poker.

Person texts 'How are you?' to a skeleton,

'Now you know why I piddle in his water dish.'

'We can't pull the plug until the paperwork is finished.'

"Seriously honey? You can't just pick a place to eat? Just pick a place already/ Damn!"