Skeleton Satire Gifts

X-ray of body shows skull.

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

Found pearls! No way I'm leaving. . . Amelia.

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

'Why Isaac Newton kept returning to alchemy...' 'There's just no money in gravity.'

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

"Some Rain Forest this is..."

'He's sculling...how ironic.'

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

'Are you mentally undressing me again professor?'

"Good evening. Sorry for the slight delay."

"You have to ask yourself, is it even worth finding the cheese anymore!"

"It's going to rain — I can feel it in my bones."

"You took your time!"

'... blast off!... Uh-oh. Houston, we have a problem.'

The Silent Highwayman on the Filthy Thames

The Spine Center

'No, I don't think x-rays are needed.'

'I'm not overweight you know? I'm just big boned.'

Person texts 'How are you?' to a skeleton,

"Oh shoot. That reminds me, I need to buy a valentine."

'How many quarks in a gallon again?'

'I don't know Arthur, I've heard the service is terrible here.'

'We can't pull the plug until the paperwork is finished.'

"Relax. I'm just here to see if your life insurance is up to date."

'Are we there yet?'

"Seriously honey? You can't just pick a place to eat? Just pick a place already/ Damn!"

"Do you even know how long it's been since you last poked and prodded me?"

"Oh no, it's the Grim Rapper."

Woman to skeleton - 'I told you not to go on a No Carb, No Fat, No Meat diet all at once..'

Desert Help Desk.

'Do I bother to check the pH of my home brew? No. Why?'

'Tonight Fi Fi goes all the way.'

Bortex: Debilitating personal field emitted by self-congratulatory people, theorized to consist of large sluggish sub-atomic particles called 'borons'.