Skeletal Jokester Pillows

Fourth age club annual outing

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

Quick! 5-second rule!

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

"Some Rain Forest this is..."

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

'I'm very active. I'm always jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping lunch, and jogging my memory. With all that jumping, stretching, skipping and jogging, I still can't lose weight.'

'Are you mentally undressing me again professor?'

"It's going to rain — I can feel it in my bones."

"Good evening. Sorry for the slight delay."

'It was just a matter of time, old cowpuncher, 'til one of them punched back.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chaps.

'No, I don't think x-rays are needed.'

'I'm not overweight you know? I'm just big boned.'

"I thought we said no presents!"

"For God's sake Dennis, that was the budgie!"

'My waist has spread, my arteries are clogged, cholesterol is elevated, but my legs still go up and down.'

"Oh shoot. That reminds me, I need to buy a valentine."

'I don't know how, but he has the bird flu.'

Don't tell me, you want another sick note!

Person texts 'How are you?' to a skeleton,

'I don't know Arthur, I've heard the service is terrible here.'

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

"...I'd say your health was way below the poverty line!"

'We can't pull the plug until the paperwork is finished.'

'You know the rules Fanshawe ----both bloody feet on the floor'

"Telemarketers call 50 times a day, which is good, because getting up each time to answer the phone keeps me in shape."

'Are we there yet?'

"Seriously honey? You can't just pick a place to eat? Just pick a place already/ Damn!"

Pretzels. I can't help it, every time after yoga I get an overwhelming urge for a pretzel.