Sister In Labor Pillows

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

Moms gone wild

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

'No provision for day care, eh?'

'Amazing, isn't it? - And she's never taken a parenting class.'

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'

"Keep pushing, I can see the head!"

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

The Ultrasound.

"There's even an app for being a mother!"

"I trust I don't get them mixed up. The midwife will be weraing a badge. Mum will be wearing a sigh of relief."

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

"It must be hereditary. My mom got pregnant too!!"

'In the owners manual it's listed as Foetal muzak. I call it gurgling intestines!!'

"I love being on the mommy track."

"You mean my little sister could be a BOY?"

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

'Inverted nipple? It's probably just incredibly shy.'

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm a fully qualified puppeteer!'

"Baby's First Book of Retirement Planning...?"

"I guess I've got the spirit in me!"

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."