Sister Who Is Expecting Pillows

"Baby's First Book of Retirement Planning...?"

Cry babies.

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

Moms gone wild

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

Batman's first Bat Mobile

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

"Keep pushing, I can see the head!"

The Ultrasound.

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

"Good news. Your mother is pregnant, so, we won't be mortgaging your future."

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

"It must be hereditary. My mom got pregnant too!!"

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

"You mean my little sister could be a BOY?"

'In the owners manual it's listed as Foetal muzak. I call it gurgling intestines!!'

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm a fully qualified puppeteer!'

Baby Shower.

"I guess I've got the spirit in me!"

Birth Canal Border Checkpoint

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

'Two more months!...who's delivering this baby...the post office?'