Sinning Sages Pillows

'If Jesus died to forgive our sins, the least we can do is commit a few.'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Voltaire

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Man can levitate but can't hold fingers properly.

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

Bishop with a crozier case.

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

How To Cut The Defense Budget

"Bless me father for I have allegedly sinned."

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

"The 'Ex' huh?"

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

'Oh well, if greed wasn't so good, we've still got lust, gluttony, sloth, wrath, envy and pride.'

Special Place in Hell...

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

'I think we took a wrong turn at Sodom or Gomoorah.'

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

"Either the crystal ball's had it or you have."

Just what were you doing in Georgia anyways Hmmm Isn't it true that you were lookin' for a soul to steal Your confession states that you were in a bind cause you were way behind, Care to elaborate, Mr, Seacrest I mean, Lucifer,,

Since Greg was accepted by Mensa, he'd rather not say anything than say something incorrect.

'A sure-win radio talk show. People phone in with questions on existence and reality, and you respond with total silence.'

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

"Money may not make me happy, but I'd like to give it a chance."

It appeals to pride,greed,lust, sloth and envy, but we're overlooking gluttony and avarice.'