Silent Sage Pillows

Since Greg was accepted by Mensa, he'd rather not say anything than say something incorrect.

'A sure-win radio talk show. People phone in with questions on existence and reality, and you respond with total silence.'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Cartoon about monks who have taken a vow of silence...

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Sigmund Freud.

That party went well.

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Bishop with a crozier case.

Computer spying.

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"Can't you just look at the pictures,daddy? Some of us have to get up for school in the morning!"

"Either the crystal ball's had it or you have."

"They were known as the tribe that didn't sleep."

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

Why god isn't listening...

Oscar Wilde

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'