Spirit Sage Pillows

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'

Distilleries Association

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

One way only.

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

Bishop with a crozier case.

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"Anything you say, Mr. Einstein, can be used to explain the origin of the universe."

"You're confusing guilt with feelings of remorse. With remorse, you don't need a lawyer."

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

'Did you spill my pint?'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"I hope it's not contagious."

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'