Sinner Chuckler Pillows

Not much of a resume. Anything besides these 7 Deadly Sins?

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'Fancy a swift half?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'Golly, is it that time already?'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

Various Birds of Pray.

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"...lettuce pray."

Keyboard in Heaven

Missing Parsons.

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

"That was a good sermon...but I'd have settled for a soundbite."

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

"It's weeder's elbow."