Singleton Sympathy Gifts

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Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

'Maybe we should talk to him more, Malcolm.'

"Alright! Fine! ONE man is an island!"

Susie's single status had spread to her socks.

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

Boyfriend Shirt.

"Lucky!"

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"

Dating site - buy a dog.

Silo sweet silo

Extrovert/Introvert.

"I almost had a 'I need a man' moment last night....but then I managed to get the cork out of the wine bottle myself."

Sex is for Procreation Only.

Supporting Health Officials

Hunters And Gatherers Without Partners.

Do you know what girls want?

Lighter

"The world was becoming too crowded: the only way I could remain a lone wolf was to move out here..."

Animal cemetary with a grieving dog.

'Your heart is bigger than the average human heart. That's because you're an animal rights activist.'

ACME COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'She should be attractive, intelligenty, charming, and funny, or best offer.

Why so sad? All my friends are divorced and I'm not even married!

'For goodness sake, do it properly! Use your EYES! It's all about the EYES!!'

"Tous les copains ont été invité à une fête, sauf moi."

"Disgusting! I'm never going to get this guy properly trained! I think I'll just abandon him somewhere!"

"It's a small country with an acute shortage of babes."

"Fred and Sarah, Helen and Joe, Carol and Andy, this is Marcia and nobody."

"Well, they always say it's the thought that counts!"

I need a greeting card that starts funny, moves on to heartfelt sympathy, and ends on a note of renewed confidence and joy.